Food for the Soul

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand, Chocolate in the other- body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "whoo..what a ride!!"

The Japanese eat very little fat, the Mexicans a lot, the Chinese drink no red wine and the Italians a lot, the Germans live on beer but the French don't yet it is the Americans who have the most heart attacks.

Now as far as hearts go, they are only good for so many beats..that's it. Do not waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart does not make you live longer; it's like saying that you are driving faster to extend the life of your car. The way to do it is to take a nap!. Also,there are no advantages of an exercise program..no pain is good. Swimming? Have you ever seen a whale? Capiche?

Getting to food and drink. Vegetables? Understand the logistical efficiency..Steak is nothing more than the most efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Green leafy vegetables? Chicken, Mutton, Beef and Pork give you 100% daily allowance of all vegetables. Just be careful to eat only the vegetarian animals. Scared of fried food? Food is fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, it is permeated by it. Now how could getting more vegetables be bad for anyone?

Wine is made from fruit, Brandy is distilled wine (less water more fruit), Beer-whiskey-vodka all pure grain. Good stuff all. Chocolate from cocoa beans (more vegetable) goood!!

Finally for those worried about body/fat ratio, if you have a body you have fat, your ratio is one to one unless you have two bodies..then it's two to one and so on. So just go out there and eat and drink what you like coz your body will always be in shape. After all round is a shape too..

The Elixir of Life

Soooo, it’s the time to fast…be the first to experience spiritual bliss with a navratra compliant product….something you can consume anytime, anywhere and with anyone.. A packet of “Sip it” Aqua Water! An amazing product, with no fat, no salt, no sugar, no fiber, and lots of nutrition (it's filling, yet gluten and trans-fat free, and will help you replace sweat!!). Based on the same stuff recently found on Mars and the Moon by SCIENTISTS using TECHNOLOGY.

Think of it! All you need to do is simply "add water" to this gourmet secret mixture of a thousand no spices and you'll get the bonus of two hydrogen atoms for every oxygen! It's AU NATURALE... so it must be happy, healthy, and good! It's scientifically proven that this special water is so so so so so good for you that you must have it, you must have it, you must have it. Yummy! Can't go three days without it. The taste is amazing, and the health benefits are so frickin' numerous and obvious we don't bother to write them up. It's the "anti-antioxidant!" It's ENERGIZING! It's Coconut Water without the Coconut which means you get MORE water! Wow.... so happy and healthy!

Instant Vegan "Di-hydrogen oxide..." And folks, it's organic (and free trade). You can drink it, you can pour it on your head, you can pour it on other parts of your body, hell, you can pour it on just about anything that needs pourage!

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: “Sip it” Instant Aqua Water might cause immediate hydration, periodic bladder flushing, a heightened sense of non-de-hydration, an intense wetness, profound watery-like feeling, and spots on some fabrics. Use with caution, do not operate heavy equipment while consuming, add alcohol liberally at your discretion, use a drip-free glass, don't use on Gremlins, cats might get pissed, and always, always, take with tongue-in-cheek (above the neck).

DIRECTIONS FOR USE: You must be able to breathe without moving your lips, live on Planet Earth, are primarily carbon-based, believe in food reviews without nutritional analysis of same, and waste hours reading things like this. You pay for postage and any residual psychiatric counseling that you may and will need. Scorpios with Venus ascendant do not consume alone.