Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Unwanted Indian Politician

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction as politicians do not go to Heaven. Straight, plain, simple and true.

Once upon a time (since it is a fairy tale) the angel Gabriel came up to the Lord and said "I have a serious problem. We've got some Indians up here in Heaven and they have created havoc. They have put up traffic barriers and are wearing Armani kurtas instead of their simple white robes. They are also riding BMW's and Mercedes', instead of the chariots and are insisting on registration numbers between 1 and 10. "

"They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear and are forever missing sermons for what they call Working Committee meetings. They have put up party flags and hand symbols all over Heaven and are even challenging your election as being undemocratic.They have given out contracts to the holy food providers to supply samosas and tea to their meetings. The others are being very inconvenienced and they need to be disciplined. Oh Lord please help me!"

The Lord as usual listens patiently, then holds his head "Who is this Amar Singh guy?" He asks.

Gabriel shakes his head and says "All I know is that I got an SMS from him saying that he supports my election from the minority community....whatever that means."

"Well" says the Lord "He's set up a hotline between Heaven and Hell and Satan is on the line now and i just have to say the word 'Mayawati' to disconnect"

Satan on line 1 Sir . "Yes ...this is the Lord what can I do for you".

"Lord , Hi, i was wondering if you have been facing the same problem as us down here?" says Satan. " We have got a bunch of Indians who have practically taken over the place. They blend in with their saffron robes and have started planting Lotuses all over Hell." "They have practically destroyed the character of this place and have started installing air conditioning and have imposed what they call as a Uniform Civil Code."

"I am quite fed up and have decided once and for all that my people are not going to take in anyone with the Keywords "Indian" "Politician" involved with them. You can have them all if you want."

"Nooooooo...." says the Lord "Not over my dead body (sic)." "Lets just keep sending them back and let them fight it out amongst themselves."

In the absence of consensus the onus of broking a deal fell back on who else but 'Amar Singh' (The Immortal Lion).

Finally after much persuasion and reservation of few administrative seats for secular parties and minorities in both Heaven and Hell it has been decided to create a Buffer Zone where all the Indian Politicians will be kept and their memories erased so that they cannot have any 'Raaz Pichle Janam Ka'. Signing out..... 'Mayawati'!!!!!

Monday, December 28, 2009

The Paradox of Our Times

The other day I was just chilling out with a friend who likes to read up a lot on ways to lead a good life unlike me who thinks of good ways to lead a life. But i cant deny the gyan he bestowed upon me albeit after a lot of drinks had gone down and people like George Carlin were in the air and life,its meaning and philosophy were in the on...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers,wider roads but narrower viewpoints. We spend more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families,more conveniences and less time.We have more knowledge but less judgement,more experts yet more problems, more medicine but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much,spend too recklessly,laugh too little,drive too fast,get too angry,get too tired,read too little.

We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, listen too little , love too seldom and hate too often.

We make a living but have not learnt how to make a life. We have added years to our life but not life to our years. We conquer outer space but not the inner self. We have done larger things not better ones.

We are cleaning up the air but polluting our souls. These are the times of fast food but slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but divorce and broken homes.

We have quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, over weight bodies and pills that do everything from cheer to quieten to kill.

We need time now to slow down at times...smell the flowers...appreciate your friends.
Time to tell the ones you love and not assume that they know. The time to spend time with yourself, introspect and realise that your real character is what you are in the dark. Time to do what you enjoy and cherish instead of what you have to, so grow wings and fly...

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Rise of the Phoenix

I have returned to the blogging/writing world after about 10 years. I was actively writing for a now defunct newspaper (not because of my articles) called "The Observer" and was doing it basically gratis for fulfilling my itch to write and also probably to get the kick of seeing my name every Thursday under a 2000 word article.

My wife is instrumental in getting me to write again as she feels that a lot of my opinions need to be given vent to, far away from her. Her logic is that she does not enjoy suffering alone and wants the world to suffer with her. So here I am and the torture begins....By the way in case u too suffer do leave a word on two in the comments as it will make my wife very happy...Cheers.