Food for the Soul

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand, Chocolate in the other- body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "whoo..what a ride!!"

The Japanese eat very little fat, the Mexicans a lot, the Chinese drink no red wine and the Italians a lot, the Germans live on beer but the French don't yet it is the Americans who have the most heart attacks.

Now as far as hearts go, they are only good for so many beats..that's it. Do not waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart does not make you live longer; it's like saying that you are driving faster to extend the life of your car. The way to do it is to take a nap!. Also,there are no advantages of an exercise program..no pain is good. Swimming? Have you ever seen a whale? Capiche?

Getting to food and drink. Vegetables? Understand the logistical efficiency..Steak is nothing more than the most efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Green leafy vegetables? Chicken, Mutton, Beef and Pork give you 100% daily allowance of all vegetables. Just be careful to eat only the vegetarian animals. Scared of fried food? Food is fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, it is permeated by it. Now how could getting more vegetables be bad for anyone?

Wine is made from fruit, Brandy is distilled wine (less water more fruit), Beer-whiskey-vodka all pure grain. Good stuff all. Chocolate from cocoa beans (more vegetable) goood!!

Finally for those worried about body/fat ratio, if you have a body you have fat, your ratio is one to one unless you have two bodies..then it's two to one and so on. So just go out there and eat and drink what you like coz your body will always be in shape. After all round is a shape too..

Maobadis .. Shaobadis ..

Maobadis shaobadis.. What's the big deal about them anyway. They say they are reformists and want a new social order. Their means are commendable and their actions swift and sure. They hate schools and hospitals and don't like trains either so they just get rid of them.. Swiftly,surely and completely.
So what if they kill a few hundred jawans on the way to liberation. Life is cheap in india anyway. And if they rape a few women, it is justified after all those are the ways of the jungle and the new social order.
Kishenji as the robinhood of the band of maobadis carries a gun somewhat similar to the flute of the kishenji of olden times. He is playing god after all. They plunder the other poor to give to their own poor and in the process gain control. No arguments just agreements, after all to live on the land is better than living six feet under it.
To wage war against the state is a right of freedom of expression which we should not deny them at any cost.. Even if it means that in the near future all of us would be required to get at least a couple of bullets in each family member. A small price to pay for a new social order.
The goverment dare not smoke them out of the jungles for fear of ruining the environment after all Global Warming is Global and a much larger issue than the Indian state. We must consider that or fear a backlash from the jholawallahs and horror of horrors a candle light vigil at Jantar Mantar. Also the sheer popularity of an interview with untraceable maobadis by our very resourceful media and the publicity and TRPs generated for politicians in the after analysis is beyond what most PR agencies can achieve.
We must give credit to them for providing employment to thousands akin to NREGS and security for all with ample firepower and total delegation of authority to fire. Our poor policemen should probably attend training camps held by them to learn the use of sophisticated weaponery as the 303 is a bit outdated .. Probably by about a 100 years.
The maobadis have achieved what no other political party could, they have succeeded in diverting attention from our border issues and ensured that security personnel in non border postings get as much action if not more in family postings..after all you don't want them to get out of shape do you. Yes, we will lose a few men but then all it will take to forget is one statement or a live screening of an IPL match. Easy.
Maobadis ... Shaobadis.. Let's use them as targets for the Commonwealth Games shooting championships..

The Paradox of Our Times

The other day I was just chilling out with a friend who likes to read up a lot on ways to lead a good life unlike me who thinks of good ways to lead a life. But i cant deny the gyan he bestowed upon me albeit after a lot of drinks had gone down and people like George Carlin were in the air and life,its meaning and philosophy were in the air.....read on...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers,wider roads but narrower viewpoints. We spend more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families,more conveniences and less time.We have more knowledge but less judgement,more experts yet more problems, more medicine but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much,spend too recklessly,laugh too little,drive too fast,get too angry,get too tired,read too little.

We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, listen too little , love too seldom and hate too often.

We make a living but have not learnt how to make a life. We have added years to our life but not life to our years. We conquer outer space but not the inner self. We have done larger things not better ones.

We are cleaning up the air but polluting our souls. These are the times of fast food but slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but divorce and broken homes.

We have quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, over weight bodies and pills that do everything from cheer to quieten to kill.

We need time now to slow down at times...smell the flowers...appreciate your friends.
Time to tell the ones you love and not assume that they know. The time to spend time with yourself, introspect and realise that your real character is what you are in the dark. Time to do what you enjoy and cherish instead of what you have to, so grow wings and fly...