Touché

On my third trip to London and my sister's first my father thought it wise to give us a cultural tour of the city, most of it on foot though as the London Eye had not yet been built.

After the usual sights like the Tower Bridge, Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace it was the turn of the Tower of London.

We took in the grounds, the white tower and saw how the old monarchy had lived and even saw two of the six resident ravens, the widely believed custodians of the British Monarchy, sipping on water in the warm August sun.

Then the piece de resistance, the crown jewels... the main reason behind spending the £18 per person ticket, to see what our history books had told us.. The Koh-i-noor. It was exciting to enter into the jewel house with the tall and emotionless beefeaters standing guard. In the vault like display room as we were being urged by the ushers to "keep moving" but as we saw it we paused just a while longer at the Koh-i-noor. The world famous diamond at 105 carats and the star of the Queens crown. We truly were in awe.

My father in a moment of proud patriotism pointed out the diamond and said in Hindi; just to be sure that he puts his true feelings across to his children without drawing stares from the rest of the tourists,.."yeh hamare desh se chura ke laye the"..(they stole this from our country) . Just at that moment one of the Yeomen Warders who was right next to us says in chaste Punjabi " Himmat hai te ley ja wapas"....(If u have the guts, try to take it back).

The three of us were so stunned that we were left open mouthed like a fish out of water. We didn't know what hit us..we were like rooted and paralyzed as my father just kept staring at the bearded elderly beefeater refusing to believe what he had just heard.

It must have been the longest 30 seconds of our lives...as the beefeater smiled and said "Been married to a Sikh for 30 years and she didn't want to learn so I had to.....keep moving"... The look on his face of having taken the mickey out of us with his wit and element of surprise made us get back to reality and smile.

This event has been the highlight of my many visits to London and made me understand the level of penetration and integration of various immigrant cultures into mainstream British Life. Even today while saying anything in Hindi or Punjabi anywhere in the world I do always look around expecting a comment from the most unexpected quarters...Once bitten..Twice Shy..


The above is an official entry for the http://www.expedia.co.in/ and indiblogger contest.

Food for the Soul

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand, Chocolate in the other- body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "whoo..what a ride!!"

The Japanese eat very little fat, the Mexicans a lot, the Chinese drink no red wine and the Italians a lot, the Germans live on beer but the French don't yet it is the Americans who have the most heart attacks.

Now as far as hearts go, they are only good for so many beats..that's it. Do not waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart does not make you live longer; it's like saying that you are driving faster to extend the life of your car. The way to do it is to take a nap!. Also,there are no advantages of an exercise program..no pain is good. Swimming? Have you ever seen a whale? Capiche?

Getting to food and drink. Vegetables? Understand the logistical efficiency..Steak is nothing more than the most efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Green leafy vegetables? Chicken, Mutton, Beef and Pork give you 100% daily allowance of all vegetables. Just be careful to eat only the vegetarian animals. Scared of fried food? Food is fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, it is permeated by it. Now how could getting more vegetables be bad for anyone?

Wine is made from fruit, Brandy is distilled wine (less water more fruit), Beer-whiskey-vodka all pure grain. Good stuff all. Chocolate from cocoa beans (more vegetable) goood!!

Finally for those worried about body/fat ratio, if you have a body you have fat, your ratio is one to one unless you have two bodies..then it's two to one and so on. So just go out there and eat and drink what you like coz your body will always be in shape. After all round is a shape too..

Different Strokes

The thought process that follows an event is usually riddled with instinctive reactions from the heart and not from the head.
Although what you react at the spur of the moment may not always be politically correct but more often than not it is the voice within you that surfaces and is the true face of your character.
The beating up of some Hindu children in Pakistan for drinking water from a mosque is what led me to think.

Instinctively because I am an urban,open minded and fairly well travelled Indian it seemed petty. It is the work of illiterate and small minded people who till today see differences on the basis of religion or for that matter caste colour or creed.

Once the initial reaction wanes and the mind takes over you realize that it's not that petty.
The event has not happened because a few villagers thought that others were unclean or unsuitable. It is in fact a culmination of a collective thought process of a society/mankind that thrives on discrimination.

Politics all over the world divides people in more ways than medically possible. Whether it is through religion or demographics, the better you carve ensures the length of your survival. And it all boils down to survival of the fittest by trying to create an illusion of superiority for those carved.
Now opening the field further and not making this a political issue, I seek to substitute the word politics with "Power Junkies".
Now if you see objectively you can fit in any of the following "America", "Al Qaeda", "Taliban", "Mayawati", "Congress","BJP", "Maoists", "Somali Pirates" ,"Khap" and a thousand others yet the meaning never changes.

I am better than you because my power junkie says so..

Think about it. It applies in every situation where there is power. An office, a factory, ministries, cricket, anywhere where there is a possibility of one showing superiority over the other. Divide and you shall prevail.

It is the ego satisfaction need of humans to seek to achieve power and dominance over other humans. It is when dementia and megalomania takes over that the need to manipulate minds in destructive fashion and to get power through fear dictates the state of our living. Sad but true.

Technologically Superior BC

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.

Having said that it is obvious that I will be discussing an idea, rather, a radical thought. Its my take...you can have yours but do let me know.

Do you think that technology as we know it today is more advanced than in ancient times say like the times of the Ramayana or the Mahabharat ? Science with all its inventions and discoveries is more advanced than what it was say 5000 years ago?
Studying the scriptures and the other mythological books with a very open mind and a fresh perspective, a thought crossed my mind...what if all of today's technologies existed at that time and we are unaware of it. If you look closely and think laterally without blind acceptance, it seems that we have not progressed at all in terms of technology in 5000 years. It is just our perception and utilization of technology to suit our needs that has changed. Let me illustrate my point more lucidly.

The assumption here is that the texts mentioned would be well known and would need no cross references

The Ramayan

In the Ramayan when Lord Ram is in the jungle Bharat comes looking for him and finds him at once..Did Bharat have the support of a GPS navigation system? Lord Ram then sent Bharat with his symbolic slippers to rule over Ayodha....probably through Remote Access as is the norm in todays offices. Then when Sita is left alone by Laxman he draws a Laxman rekha which to me seems nothing more than a Laser Protection cage..the sorts they use in museums today to protect Diamonds and Paintings. Further when Sita is abducted by Ravan, she is carried in an uran  khatola which literally translates into a flying vehicle...a helicopter perhaps, as she was screaming out ,the craft was not pressurised and it was low flying. Moving further when Hanuman was to go to Lanka he just leapt over the ocean...or did he use a micro light single seater craft with a low noise motor so that he wouldn't be sighted? Hanuman gives us more instances too such as the time when he brings over a full mountain for a herb...maybe a Boeing 747 freighter with a 120 tons payload with reefer containers to keep the perishable goods intact.Then again when Hanuman supposedly burns Lanka with his tail....Or did he use the blowtorch he carried on the micro light...after all he could not have had kerosene or a match box handy along with pieces of cloth....too much effort.
Engineering marvels like the bridge across the sea to Lanka was made possible by using bricks of a composite material that floated and allowed construction on the water itself. Compare that with the puny Bandra Worli sea link and its estimated completion in 100 years.
There are more compelling evidences in the texts themselves..especially as far as weapons go. The various types of powers on the arrows would definitely be akin to our missile systems and weapons of Mass Destruction. The Brahmastra was the ultimate weapon.....the nuclear device and it was fitted on a cruise missile with a guided GPS as it hit Ravan exactly on the belly button...accuracy.

The Mahabharat

The Mahabharat also offers very compelling proofs that technology in those days was far superior to what is perceived. The primary, most direct proof is the Divine Vision given to Sanjay to narrate the war as it happened live.....reminds me of CNN and the Gulf war. The direct telecast was probably on the King's fancy home theatre, through a satellite receiver and was narrated as seen. The Akash Vani has been rightly understood and adopted as the radio by our national broadcaster. Then when it was said that Ashwathama is dead ....it was probably due to a weak cellular signal at the battle field that the words Man or Elephant were dropped/broken. Kurukshetra till date does not have the best cellular signal in the country. The shooting of the arrow to get water from the ground for Bhishma was also demonstrative of the technology and the power tools at their disposal in those days....u really didn't think an arrow can get u water from the ground ...did you?
The final straw is the revelation of the self by Lord Krishna...the holographic imaging of the true form ...the transition from 2D to 3D and finally 4D with the actual experience..something that we are still trying to achieve...again.
The Lord has said clearly that what Arjun witnessed was an illusion and just that.

Other Notings

The city of Mohenjo daro one of the earliest civilizations discovered had a vast network of drains and sewage systems that our municipal corporations are still struggling to achieve. They even had slits in houses so that garbage disposal was swift, precise and not on the roads (Delhi and Mumbai please note). And to think they could have done it without todays technology...maybe theirs was better.

The Sphinx and The Angkor Wat align themselves in a geometric symmetry on certain celestial occurrences....could it have been possible without a view from outer space given that they lay thousands of kilometers apart?

I could just go on and on and will do so if you want me to but the question of superior technology still remains.

We live in times when scientists put a man on the moon before they put wheels on a suitcase. There is a reinvention of things known in the past...Does it mean we really live in a tech freeze and only our perception changes as we tweak what is already known and present it as an invention or a path breaking discovery. More Later....

The Unwanted Indian Politician

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction as politicians do not go to Heaven. Straight, plain, simple and true.

Once upon a time (since it is a fairy tale) the angel Gabriel came up to the Lord and said "I have a serious problem. We've got some Indians up here in Heaven and they have created havoc. They have put up traffic barriers and are wearing Armani kurtas instead of their simple white robes. They are also riding BMW's and Mercedes', instead of the chariots and are insisting on registration numbers between 1 and 10. "

"They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear and are forever missing sermons for what they call Working Committee meetings. They have put up party flags and hand symbols all over Heaven and are even challenging your election as being undemocratic.They have given out contracts to the holy food providers to supply samosas and tea to their meetings. The others are being very inconvenienced and they need to be disciplined. Oh Lord please help me!"

The Lord as usual listens patiently, then holds his head "Who is this Amar Singh guy?" He asks.

Gabriel shakes his head and says "All I know is that I got an SMS from him saying that he supports my election from the minority community....whatever that means."

"Well" says the Lord "He's set up a hotline between Heaven and Hell and Satan is on the line now and i just have to say the word 'Mayawati' to disconnect"

Satan on line 1 Sir . "Yes ...this is the Lord what can I do for you".

"Lord , Hi, i was wondering if you have been facing the same problem as us down here?" says Satan. " We have got a bunch of Indians who have practically taken over the place. They blend in with their saffron robes and have started planting Lotuses all over Hell." "They have practically destroyed the character of this place and have started installing air conditioning and have imposed what they call as a Uniform Civil Code."

"I am quite fed up and have decided once and for all that my people are not going to take in anyone with the Keywords "Indian" "Politician" involved with them. You can have them all if you want."

"Nooooooo...." says the Lord "Not over my dead body (sic)." "Lets just keep sending them back and let them fight it out amongst themselves."

In the absence of consensus the onus of broking a deal fell back on who else but 'Amar Singh' (The Immortal Lion).

Finally after much persuasion and reservation of few administrative seats for secular parties and minorities in both Heaven and Hell it has been decided to create a Buffer Zone where all the Indian Politicians will be kept and their memories erased so that they cannot have any 'Raaz Pichle Janam Ka'. Signing out..... 'Mayawati'!!!!!

The Paradox of Our Times

The other day I was just chilling out with a friend who likes to read up a lot on ways to lead a good life unlike me who thinks of good ways to lead a life. But i cant deny the gyan he bestowed upon me albeit after a lot of drinks had gone down and people like George Carlin were in the air and life,its meaning and philosophy were in the air.....read on...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers,wider roads but narrower viewpoints. We spend more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families,more conveniences and less time.We have more knowledge but less judgement,more experts yet more problems, more medicine but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much,spend too recklessly,laugh too little,drive too fast,get too angry,get too tired,read too little.

We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, listen too little , love too seldom and hate too often.

We make a living but have not learnt how to make a life. We have added years to our life but not life to our years. We conquer outer space but not the inner self. We have done larger things not better ones.

We are cleaning up the air but polluting our souls. These are the times of fast food but slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but divorce and broken homes.

We have quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, over weight bodies and pills that do everything from cheer to quieten to kill.

We need time now to slow down at times...smell the flowers...appreciate your friends.
Time to tell the ones you love and not assume that they know. The time to spend time with yourself, introspect and realise that your real character is what you are in the dark. Time to do what you enjoy and cherish instead of what you have to, so grow wings and fly...